Not what I meant by "phone sex" ...
We all know how attached we are to our phones. However, a study came out last week with results that will startle even the most technologically obsessed among us: 1 out of every 10 people surveyed use their phone during sex. For those of us who are mathematically challenged, that is10 percent. And what is more alarming is that those surveyed whose ages are between 18 and 34, the number rises to 5 out of 10. FIFTY PERCENT!
I will say it again. Using the phone, DURING sex. This gives a whole new meaning to “sexting.”
Unless there is some sort of amazing vibe app that I’m unaware of, or you’re getting some raw action footage, phones should never be allowed on the bed—or any surface—where penetration is happening simultaneously. Live Tweeting should never be used to describe a money shot.
I seriously cannot fathom how this can be possible. Nobody wants to see your post-O selfie. The only reason phones are acceptable while in bed with someone else is if you are:
- Watching porn.
- Making porn.
That is it. According to the 2013 Mobile Consumer Habits study released by Harris Interactive, 12 percent of peeps use their phone in the shower, and 75 percent cop to being within 5 feet of their phones at all times.
I get it. I have been known to fall asleep while Instagramming and wake up still spooning my (now dead) electronic bundle of joy. But during sex? Really?
Even for those of us who don’t have their phone in one hand and a D in the other, it’s probably safe to say that at some point our tech addiction—that need to feel connected to the outside world—has gotten in the way of our intimacy.
Opportunities for conversation are often gobbled up by the multiple feeds we have going on at once. How many times have you scrolled through Facebook while sitting next to someone at the table? What starts as an opportunity to snap a quick pic of my meal during a casual dinner at home (foodie problems) turns into me taking the photo, finding the perfect filter, posting it to Instagram, scrolling through my friends’ feeds and then—what? What’s that? My boyfriend is already up and doing the dishes? Damn.
In fact, iPhones turned face down and placed on the table have become such a staple at dinner that companies are creating high-fashion covers so that your phone can act as an accessory while you eat.
How do we battle this? I love my phone just as much as the rest of my generation, so I’m right there with you. Plus, I live in a studio apartment, so a “no phones in the bedroom” rule wouldn’t make any sense. My entire house is the bedroom. And the kitchen. And the office. And the—you get my point.
Here are a few remedies you can try for weening yourself off of your phone during social time:
- If you don’t live in one large room, have a “no phones in the bedroom” rule. This may mean you have to go get an old school alarm clock, but if it means you end up having more sex, then it’s probably worth it.
- During dinner, follow the phone stacking trend; When eating with people, everyone stack their phones in the center of the table so that they are forced to converse face-to-face and aren’t able to stealthily check for news from that guy they met in the Hamptons last weekend who still hasn’t texted.
- There is also a phone stacking game where you stack your phones with the ringer on and as the texts/emails/calls come in, you have to resist temptation. The first person who breaks down to check their gadget has to pay the tab/wash the dishes/get naked, etc.
- Phones for feet. After dinner, my guy and I like to decompress on the couch. Often this means sitting in silence for 30 minutes while we troll Instagram. Instead, trade your phone in for your partner’s foot. I would rather get and give a foot rub then look at a photo of my ex-roommates sub sandwich or their #tbt photos from Cabo.
Tell me, how do you battle phones interfering with your connection? Have you ever used your phone during sex for a reason that had nothing to do with documenting yourself? I need to find this elusive fifty percent!
Want more from Zoe? Find her on Twitter, Instagram, or read her blog, SexyTofu — just not while having sex.